Hold On

Hell-O Kiddo…

Last night was a hell of catastrophe for me. What the hell was I thinking to have such faith in this weak body? I can’t handle the pain from just knowing the same thing I’ve see. When the cause is lost, that is what I was meant to be. A pathetic loser who hopes too much behind what he felt was lonely.

Hey Kiddo, you’re there aren’t you? What the f*** is this feeling that I must be strong to get through? Seems like forgetting the past is nearly impossible to do. You would agree to that would you? Well at least I know someone who do.

What’s with that face, you don’t believe it when I do?

That’s because you don’t even know how it feels. All I ever known is revenge and anger instead of the effort making it disappear and heal. Sometimes I just want to shut the beast inside down and scream to it “Get REAL!” We’re not the one here who’s making the deal!

Anyways, I think what I am able to feel then you can feel it too, yes? Then it’s time for us together to clean up this mess. Disappointed is what I describe myself best. For once please don’t make me ruin this with my anger nor jealousy ‘cause it really hurts in the chest.

I tried to sleep but I just can’t do it. My mind wanders off and the pillows just won’t fit. "These are the important days for someone's life, so don't screw it up damn it!" Those words somebody said to me really choked me hard and made me think deeper in fact I can't barely sit. Holy hell! I need to brainwash my head in order to clean up this shit! Hey Kiddo, help me outta here, gimme a hit!

Trying to hold on from this seems to be harder that it looks. It’s not like I can read them off from some cheesy life-must-go-on guide books. At least I’ve learn a lot from the past. When you are in the middle of shit that long last, don’t even give it more thoughts ‘cause that is what will drive you crazy real fast.

Song : Kiss of Dawn - H.I.M